I'm Not an Expert

I am sharing today on a subject in which I am definitely not claiming to be an expert. Actually, there are very few that could be in that category. You know why? It’s hard. You go from it being all about you and your problems to living with someone that has their own set of stuff. You become aware that there has to be “give and take” with more emphasis on the giving. It’s not “all about you”. When that is lopsided, trouble can be afloat.

In the beginning you run on the newness of it all and how madly in love you are with that person sitting across the table. They can do no wrong. You find a place on that pedestal and place them there.

You thought you knew how to cook but realize you had only helped your mom cook (she did most of the cooking). You keep her phone number handy because she would be your expert as you are now responsible for pretty much all the meals at said table. This new life will require some juggling of your time, but you will gladly do it. Such bliss.

As those first moments and years start accumulating, you begin to realize that this person you have committed your life to is a little more complicated than you anticipated. Then in some cases, kids are added to the mix. This is when you start to understand how this love and marriage thing really works. Whew! The “horse and carriage” is put away and now what?

Some marriages don’t survive even after years of being together. I will venture to say that selfishness is the biggest factor in their demise. They haven’t learned (or maybe even ignored) that commitment is for a lifetime regardless of how they “feel”.

Being a vital “present” partner and parent is an essential ingredient in staying together. When failure to follow through with your vows has happened, when there has been hurt to the point of divorce, life changes and can be devastating to go through. You should want to avoid this happening. Life is never the same when either partner has allowed selfishness to take over their life. (Now that is something that I know a thing or two about).

My purpose today is to encourage all those that are currently married or about to step foot into that sacred matrimony. Put selfishness aside. It’s not “all about you” now. That baggage that you have been dragging around must be unpacked and put away forever. Don’t bring past mistakes or hurts into your home to take up residence. Learn to practice forgiveness and allow for some mistakes along the way. Love your spouse and give them grace.

Remember, it’s not all about what you want. It’s about what God wants. He wants all to go well for you. But not JUST you. If that means having a listening ear for your husband/wife. Have it. If that means giving space to your wife/husband. Give it. It’s loving how God loves. It’s forgiving how God forgives. It is putting away offense.

Come on…we humans are the ones that make everything so hard. Life should be simple. Right Bobby? (That’s one of his favorite sayings).

Colossians 3:13 NLT

[13] Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

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